Dear Diary
5 days to go and our ‘Guy in London’ has been to an industry conference, and he tells us that everyone is saying that they have ‘finished’ REFIT, so he’s taking the rest of the week off.
Hurray that’s a relief, but I seem to have 50 open tickets and 3 calls later with new clients that haven’t started testing!
It’s been days since I saw my family, but my manager says they are doing well and I should get back to work, he brings me a new photo of them, they do look well.
A client who was ‘absolutely not concerned’ about UPIs only last week, calls me in a panic, he now tells me he thought I said UTIs and blames me for not speaking clearly enough.
I am definitely losing weight and I think my hair is going grey.
I’m up to 10 cups of coffee a day, but that’s ok I don’t have a problem, I am feeling fine.
My alarm goes and I remember to get up and look out of the window at the sun, it’s still there, which is nice.
I’ve got some good testing planned for this afternoon, should be stress-free and then I might not have to sleep at the office again.
Dear Diary
4 days to go, I slept at the office again, my wife says she understands, I had a Zoom call with my kids, which was nice.
Got a message from a TR, they apologise but something has come up and their system won’t be available for a bit, oh well as long as this is a one-off then we should all be good, no stress.
Got up and looked out of the window, it looks nice out there.
5 clients mailed to say I ‘had’ to join a call at 2 pm as it was utterly completely and unmissably critical, still some way off on the cloning technology, so I told all I would join for 10 minutes each.
Joined all 5 calls, remembered everyone’s name and issues and could have sworn I’d answered the same thing last week but hey, time is blurring and I’m probably wrong.
Had 12 cups of coffee today but still no problem, I can quit anytime, shaky hands let me type more quickly, so it’s a bonus really.
Looked in the mirror, didn’t like what stared back, so stopped, ‘control the controllable’ is my new motto.
I’ve got some good testing planned for this afternoon, should be stress-free and then I might not have to sleep at the office again.
Oh hang on there’s a mail come in about availability.
Dear Diary
3 days to go, I slept at the office again, my wife didn’t sound as understanding, I had a Zoom call with my kids, they seem distracted, and hang up.
I can hear the Sales guys laughing and talking about how many new clients they’ve signed this year and how they are growing the company. They’ve gone out to celebrate … GO TEAM, I think.
Only 40 open tickets and 4 calls this afternoon, I’m getting on top of this, people are listening to me, I am making a huge difference.
Forgot to set my ‘Stand up and look out the window alarm’, my back hurts and my front tooth feels wobbly – probably nothing, drank some coffee and planned some nice testing for this afternoon.
My manager says I must go home tonight (something about Human Rights), I thank them, my face is wet, I seem to be crying – pull myself together and have another coffee and look out of the window, it’s raining.
‘Our Guy’ in London sends me a message asking a ‘critically’ important question, I send him a link to the 8 previous replies to the same ‘critical’ question, he seems happy and tells me he will take the rest of the week off.
Dear Diary
2 days to go, I slept at the office again, I couldn’t get hold of wife and children.
Got a note from Management saying how much they appreciate my efforts, which is nice.
Final push, come on, nearly there.
Only 30 open tickets and 3 calls this afternoon, I’ve cracked this.
Been asked if I can help a couple of new customers who are struggling, I say of course and drop everything, should only take an hour or 2 and I’ll catch up this afternoon.
Well 6 hours is quite a long time, but they were grateful and surely nothing could have gone too wrong.
I have 50 open tickets and 5 companies insisting on a call at 6 PM…
My hands shook so much earlier I am wearing my 20th coffee of the day, but this shirt needed a wash and I now smell better.
2 of my teeth are wobbly, I Google ‘Scurvy’. I close my search I’m not a 19th Century sailor!!!
I’ve got some good testing planned for tonight, should be stress free and then I might not have to sleep at the office again
Oh, hang on there’s a mail come in about availability.
Dear Diary
1 day to go, I slept at the office again, my mother called to ask why my house is up for sale, I laugh and call my wife, the call rings out.
A guy from sales asks If it’s too late to onboard a new customer – GO TEAM, I smile but start to sob, he walks away.
I get up and look out of the window, someone restrains me, seems I was trying to touch the outside!!
How much coffee is too much, don’t see the need for water anymore and have started to eat the granules from the tin, more efficient.
Did an End-to-End test just now, at least I think I did, I may be hallucinating, I was expecting fireworks and streamers but when I look up no one has moved but still I am winning.
HR are telling me that the police are at the door, and they are here to make me leave the office by force.
I have 20 open tickets and only 1 call, time to break out the dancing shoes your boy is King of the World
Oh hang on there’s a mail come in…
Dear Diary
0 days to go, it worked, it bloody well worked.
Too tired to celebrate but everyone is slapping me on the back and saying we couldn’t have done it without me.
Sales are miming smoking cigars and are going out to celebrate.
‘Our Guy’ in London calls to tell me ‘It’s gone so well’ that he’s going to take the rest of the week off.
Customers are mailing me to say thanks, but would I mind just …
Oh, hang on there’s no mail about availability.
This is a ‘very’ fictious skit to highlight the enormous efforts those dedicated and unsung heroes in Technical Support roles go through to ensure everything goes right on the night and fixed timelines are met.
No humans or animals were hurt in the construction of this piece
